12:39 p.m. - 2006-02-01
Even though I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to be in a relationship right now, it would be nice if I thought that someone might actually theoretically want one with me, instead of just wanting commitment-free sex.
It would be fine if these people just weren't ready to be in relationships in general. But no, these are people looking for some fun while they wait for someone they really want to come along. Sometimes I feel like I'm wearing a sign that says "GET YOUR ROCKS OFF WHILE YOU WAIT".
People wanting to shag me used to be an ego boost. Now I just feel "good enough to do, not to date". And let's be honest .. even unwashed crackwhores can get laid. They even get paid for it.
The worst part is that I really fucking like sex. But I can't seem to do it casually anymore without all these insecurities completely overwhelming me afterwards.
I wish you could buy self-esteem. Then again, if you could, I bet only rich people could afford it.